do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
