how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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