Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
