I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
