All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
