Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
