turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
