come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
