She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Found the puke drawer
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
