at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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