Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
