So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
