when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
