I puked a lego.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
