Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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