So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
smell my finger.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Never underestimate the power of titties
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
