I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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