She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
