Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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