Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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