Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
