You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
