Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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