end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You made out with two different species that night
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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