maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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