Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
