like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
