I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
