Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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