i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
