Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
