if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
