just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
