Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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