You made me cry and you don't even care
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
