Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
