is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
