I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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