honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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