why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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