so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
even my farts smell like vagina
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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