Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
either way he was missing a nipple.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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