DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
