she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
