Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
