You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
