dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
