I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
