You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
