I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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