I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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