I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
